Perfect fishing trip? Successful day at the water, followed by steak and chips, then beer!

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As a general rule, I hate the average British pub. I hate the moody bar tenders. I hate when there is an important football match on but they don’t have a TV. I hate the bad toilets, and the fact that you usually have to swim back to your bar stool through a mixture of dreadful fluids on the floor. It seems as a pre-requisite of being welcome in your average British pub, you have to have no teeth, and hate life.

The looks you receive when walking into a pub for the first time in this country are off-putting at best. I mean, how can you possibly enjoy a pint when the gentleman to your right and his six friends are staring at you as though you had just kicked over their mother’s gravestone.

The language barrier can often be difficult too; grunts, snorts and groans overtaking more traditional ways of saying hello. Small wonder then that pubs in this country are closing down at a steady rate. Can the current financial climate and various ‘health’ bans be blamed for everything?

For the travelling angler, the pub is very important. Although I have painted a rather bland picture of our pubs, they are not all bad. The good news for us, some of the best ones seem to be strategically placed around the most popular fishing spots in the country and many of them thrive solely because of visiting anglers.

This opens up a whole new can of worms in terms of government actions concerning the importance of RSA, licenses, funding, wanting to keep seaside coastal business alive etc, but I shan't go into that just now. I am raising this issue because our great fishing pubs show up the rest. This is for all those pubs around our coastline, and indeed the rest of the country that are potentially missing a very large trick. Let’s say that this is a guide for anglers around the country to some of the great pubs I have visited whilst fishing. As for those to avoid; give a wide berth to any pubs with missing letters above the front door, or those with cracked windows. More specifically, avoid pubs with connections to the two main Glasgow city football clubs like you would HIV. Similarly to the disease, you will only make that mistake the one time.

After a long day afloat or on a rocky shoreline, you have probably eaten nothing all day, apart from her lovingly prepared sandwiches, which were likely to have been divided between 10. Ravenous, the first thing you want to do after your fishing is devour a cow. Therefore, having an eatery on-site is always going onto win brownie points. Steak and chips goes down well. Large portions are also good.

As for the drinking side of things, rule No.1 – never run out of Guinness. Rule No.2 – ignoring state and country laws, always stay open until the last man stands. The first thing people say when talking about a pub experience on an ‘away’ fishing trip... “it was great, they stayed open until it was time for us to get back on the boat the next day”.  Oh, and never run out of snack foods, especially peanuts and crisps, which are often devoured right up until jibberish talk time.

Here’s a list of some decent fishing pubs I’ve visited on my travels.

The Crown Berv, Inverbervie – Cosy little pub, great atmosphere, entertaining owner. Local talent leaves much to be desired.

The Weigh Inn, Scrabster – Name says it all. Angler friendly, great selection of beers and whisky.

The Ferry Inn, Scrabster – Ever find yourself being rescued by the Scrabster Lifeboat, first thing you will want after dodging near death in the Pentland Firth, is alcohol. You will find the man who just saved you out on the high sea, is back into civvy outfit and is pouring your pint behind the bar. True story!

The Salen Inn, Salen – The locals tend to speak a different language, which peters away into actual drool as the night progresses. Other than that it’s a lovely little boozer.

The Lochaline Hotel, Lochaline – There have been some happy anglers to find this cracking highland boozer open - believe me! The owner/barman is a legend, the drink is great, the criak is entertaining, and the fact that your Lochaline fishing trip will likely be blown off two days out of three means that the town’s finest pub gets a lot of anglers custom.

The Cellar, Oban – Well, it was raining alot, it was windy, alot, and one of our party was a Police Officer. What harm could possibly have come to us? They sold us beer, and that’s all that mattered.

The Clashwhannon, Drummore – This place is legendary among Luce Bay regulars. It has absolutely everything you need, and more. I would rate this among the best Pubs I have visited when fishing. The food is astounding!

To an Ends - please feel free to post your opinions on other good establishments around the country...